| Snow day |
[13 Feb 2008|10:43pm] |
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Its cold, sunlight sifting through snowy skies, it is a beautiful solitude. I walk the streets to the crunching of broken white underfoot. thoughts tumble through my mind like the lazy whiteness before my eyes, both unseen. sound fades, eyes no longer seeing, I get swallowed by it all. I walk alone.
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| hmm absurdity |
[02 Feb 2008|05:47pm] |
sadly it seems my LJ has taken a backseat to life and other blogs like Facebook and Myspace. :( it is becoming to where I only write here once a year but that troubles me because I have several good friends who only post here and although i read their journals regularly we talk less and that saddens me.
I'll have to put in more of an effort. well Life has thrown me some curves, ups and downs, and I have had to re-evaluate my life I find I want to take it down a different path, a better path hopefully. one of the things I want to do is post more here again, and get back to writing again in general.
I need to get out of my life funk and out of the house more so I'm going to go bowling tonight. I'll post more later
by the way dark_alone, if you read my journal still....I miss you :(
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| Its My birthday once again |
[20 Jul 2007|03:55pm] |
god i'm 30 now, and depressed, i'm still alone.
but I want to say thx to all my friends that have called and txt'd me b-day wishes.
and to my dear Kris who mailed me a card (arrived right on time)i want to say I love and miss you, and your card ment a lot to me since i figured you would have long forgotten about me.
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| Quiz |
[30 Jan 2007|05:55pm] |
Sadistic Seme
Take Are you a Seme or an Uke? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>It takes a special kind of uke to handle the punishment you dish out. Making them beg for mercy is what you're all about. You give your uke the gift of pain, and the louder their moans are, the more satisfied with the relationship you'll be. It's no fun if they don't struggle, and struggle and torture is what the Dramatic Uke, your perfect match, lives for.
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| Trick or Treat |
[07 Oct 2006|01:53pm] |
last half
| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
|---|
| Silver_wolfe goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Vash. | | girlisha tricks you! You get a used tissue. | | linzables gives you 3 pink root beer-flavoured gummy worms. | | mieru tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy! | | mindtramp gives you 5 light orange passionfruit-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. | | tearmedown gives you 6 light green vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum. | | total_hottie tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy! | | williamohms tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy! | | Silver_wolfe ends up with 2 pieces of candy, and a used tissue. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
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| retrospective poem |
[30 Mar 2006|01:14am] |
Eternity
I stand at the edge of eternity
and look out to the endless forever
I bow my head
and the tears I cry form an ocean
and my memories
sail forever on that sea
as lost as the words never spoken
We laid my Grandmother to rest Saturday, I will miss her deeply
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| introspection |
[29 Mar 2006|12:03am] |
people as a whole confuse me, the most intelligent of beasts on this planet and yet we are cursed with mass stupidity. we are cattle, a mindless herd of humanity. we think that we are individuals, but we cannot seem to act without being a group, we think only what other think or tell us to think, because its easy and comfortable. when things go wrong its not our fault it is some amorphous "someone else's fault" because after all we were only following. if i am to be so much a cow, best shoot me now and render me down into burger now, because i do not wish to gain the dull eyed blank stare of the mass. i do not wish to de-evolve because its easier to let others think, act, and live for me. the human race is blind and chooses no to see, its our pride, our prejudices, our greed, and our lust, our sins drive us. we love the small person picture, the snapshot and not the mural. and hell shall come and find us ripe and we will die smiling because it is easy to give in and not give a damn about anyone as long as a person has their own personal happiness.
what is your happiness, what is your darkness
what is your poison?
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| Yawn |
[26 Dec 2005|10:22pm] |
|
 | You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.
Batman, the Dark Knight | | 100% | Captain Jack Sparrow | | 79% | Lara Croft | | 79% | The Amazing Spider-Man | | 79% | Indiana Jones | | 67% | James Bond, Agent 007 | | 67% | Neo, the "One" | | 63% | William Wallace | | 63% | Maximus | | 58% | The Terminator | | 54% | El Zorro | | 46% | </td>
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| Pick my brain please |
[01 Nov 2005|07:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Any other name - Thomas Newman |
] |
Wasteland
If the laughter stops,
the flower of the soul dies.
barren and wasted,
the child in us cries.
buried beneath,
forgotten, hope lies.
Empty
And the light dies,
and the curtain drops,
and life is nothing,
but an empty stage
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| Misery loves company |
[25 Oct 2005|01:40pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The white noise in my mind |
] |
another mind fragment of mine.
I am a ghost,
but a shadow of the past.
I continue to haunt you,
because you do not know
how to let me go.
we hold tight the ones we love, but we clutch close to us our sorrows.
I burn in Silence, that you may live in Peace.
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| What to do... |
[16 Oct 2005|01:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I Wish I had an Angel by Nightwish |
] |
just sitting here in bed, depressed as always. wondering what I should do.
I'm getting tired of being every girls' friend but never being given the chance to be more.
Alway, always do I get the "I dont want to loose you as a friend" line as they jump all over some "pretty boy" or "bad boy". I thought a true relationship had to start somewhere with a good foundation, and if that foundation isnt build on a strong frienship then how can it last? How can a woman date someone she dont really know over someone she has known and liked a year or more? you know how shitty it feels to never be given a chance?
I'm tired of being "just friends"
I think I was born broken
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| Quiz time |
[15 Oct 2005|12:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan by Nightwish |
] |
You were murdered. More than likely for money. You
were very brave, but after what happened you
have become shy and worried. You never deserved
anything that happened to you and you should
live your life to the fullest now. Your life
story was very tragic.
How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Updateing Story with new content, using LJ as my blackboard |
[14 Oct 2005|08:15pm] |
PRELUDE
I'm a forgotten one. There is no real set point that it happened. My
life just faded away like an old photograph then was gone. No one hears
me or sees me. If it wasn’t for the reflection I see in the mirror I
don’t think even I would believe I existed. What brought me to this
point? Destiny? Fate? Who knows, looking back I see now that I was born
alone, I live my life alone, and soon, I'll die alone. Realization an
acceptance, odd you would think this would make us something rather
then confirm our nothingness, our endlessness, our void.
Pushing away from the sink I sigh, my shoulders
slump. This is me, who I am. Nothing. Forgotten. The world swirls and
pulses around me, people drift in and out of my vision like eddies in a
tidal pool, insubstantial and never lasting. It all flows over and
around me, never marking me or me touching upon it. My day ends as it
begins, staring into the mirror before i shove off to bed, my
reflection leaving about as much a mark on this world as I do.
It came to me that night, blossoming as a dream in
the landscape of my mind, perhaps the only place left with a vibrancy
in a gray mist of being. I didn’t know where I was... It had to be a
dream the colors to sharp and clear to me, the grass a flowing green
scape of color dotted with purple flowers lazily swaying back and forth
as lily pads in a pond rippled by the touch of a finger. Tranquil. It
was all broken with a searing pain in my back, looking down I see the
end of something long and sharp sticking out of my chest. Surrealism.
The blood dripping from it is mine, the pain is mine, and this moment
is mine alone.
"You must die before you can truly have lived."
The words come unbidden to me as I sink to my knees,
the limp strings that supported my puppet frame cut. The frail Purple
flowers now speckled with the dots of my blood, but still the clarity
of color, the green of grass, the purple of the flowers, the red of my
blood. I pull my eyes from this sight and look up, and up, and up. The
blue sky rolls into view as I collapse to my back. More pain exploding
as the hilt of the object thrust though me further. My last thought as
my sight exploded and was gone was "Even the forgotten believe they are
alive, just insubstantial, odd thing dieing."
And the sky began to weep, but not for me, for the dieing of the day.
Pain…
Again, but this time a voice as well.
“Get up Lad.”
He reinforced his words with another jab of his toe to my ribs.
“It’s not safe to lie around out here all day, there are worse then me that travel these paths.”
Groaning I slowly open my eyes to see the blurry image of an old man
come into view. I sit up and immediately my hands clutch at my chest.
“I’m alive,” I mumbled.
He cackled at this.
“Of course you are Lad, might be a different story if you continue laying there in the desert,” this he said with a wink.
Confused I look around, sand and rock. Gone were the flowers gone was
the grass; gone was all of the vivid color and fresh air. Also gone was
the shaft though my heart. I felt strange; I looked at the old man
trying to find some answers in his eyes, what I saw was a sternness
come to his face, a tightening of the jaw and set look about his
features.
“Then again, maybe you are.”
He said the evenly and with a seriousness in his voice I had not head from him till this point.
“Anyway Lad its not polite to stare don’t you know.”
He leaned down and picked up the satchel at his feet and turned to head
down the road, if it could be called such. The road was nothing more
but a flatter, more compressed area of this dead place
1.
It was In the Year of the Silver Moon that He found
me. I am able to write this only because He taught me to read and
write. Once years ago I had asked him once why? Why teach me such
things that did not seem so important then? “So that you can never
become Forgotten” was his reply in that quiet sad voice that was to
become so central in my years. Forget me not, for this is my story as I
remember it at the end of my days.
Born in a death birth I had my destiny set from the start, or so the
village Elders, wise as they were, thought. Maybe it was, but it was
not to be as they would have it. Everything the village was plagued
with was blamed on me, famine, raiders, plague. I was a cursed one, no
one would have me, not even the raiders. But as despised as I was the
Tribal council could do nothing to me. Law, it is what binds social
structures, without it our tribe and others would have fallen to
self-destruction; this at least they had learned if nothing else. So it
was that Law protected me. “No one of the Tribe may be killed by the
Tribe. This was my saving grace. Not that it would last, the Elder made
up for in deviousness what they lacked in wisdom.
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| Pic |
[14 Oct 2005|05:45pm] |
Ok a return to LJ means a new pic...
but I think i'm going to have to get a better Pic, i look like a psycho killer in this one :P
definantly not one of my best, then again i'm not that photogenic :P`
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| cant sleep so posting begining of a new Story i'll never finish |
[12 Oct 2005|11:29pm] |
PRELUDE
I'm a forgotten one. There is no real set point that it happened. My life just faded away like an old photograph then was gone. No one hears me or sees me. If it wasn’t for the reflection I see in the mirror I don’t think even I would believe I existed. What brought me to this point? Destiny? Fate? Who knows, looking back I see now that I was born alone, I live my life alone, and soon, I'll die alone. Realization an acceptance, odd you would think this would make us something rather then confirm our nothingness, our endlessness, our void.
Pushing away from the sink I sigh, my shoulders slump. This is me, who I am. Nothing. Forgotten. The world swirls and pulses around me, people drift in and out of my vision like eddies in a tidal pool, insubstantial and never lasting. It all flows over and around me, never marking me or me touching upon it. My day ends as it begins, staring into the mirror before i shove off to bed, my reflection leaving about as much a mark on this world as I do.
It came to me that night, blossoming as a dream in the landscape of my mind, perhaps the only place left with a vibrancy in a gray mist of being. I didn’t know where I was... It had to be a dream the colors to sharp and clear to me, the grass a flowing green scape of color dotted with purple flowers lazily swaying back and forth as lily pads in a pond rippled by the touch of a finger. Tranquil. It was all broken with a searing pain in my back, looking down I see the end of something long and sharp sticking out of my chest. Surrealism. The blood dripping from it is mine, the pain is mine, and this moment is mine alone.
"You must die before you can truly have lived."
The words come unbidden to me as I sink to my knees, the limp strings that supported my puppet frame cut. The frail Purple flowers now speckled with the dots of my blood, but still the clarity of color, the green of grass, the purple of the flowers, the red of my blood. I pull my eyes from this sight and look up, and up, and up. The blue sky rolls into view as I collapse to my back. More pain exploding as the hilt of the object thrust though me further. My last thought as my sight exploded and was gone was "Even the forgotten believe they are alive, just insubstantial, odd thing dieing."
And the sky began to weep, but not for me, for the dieing of the day
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| Update |
[12 Oct 2005|07:55pm] |
Its been awhile I know, but life has been full for awhile.
I bought a 5 bedroom house last november, I needed to get out of the house trailer I was in and I fell in love with this house, thank you to my sisters for helping me find it.
I then proceeded to Hibernate winter away till work started up in March. Work has occupied my days since
Hey when your Single and Lonely you have to fall back on something dont you?
here we are now it has been a year, still single, still lonely and work is dieing for the season.
to my mind floats the memories of wonderful friends I met on LJ, afraid they might have forgotten me I Lay a token of myself onto their journal pages.
and I return to my for yet another while.
we will see how long this might continue to fill my days.......
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| this is just scary.... |
[17 Oct 2004|10:31pm] |
You are Fluffy Mackerel Pudding!! You somehow
manage to combine seafood and dessert into your
wonderfully fluffy world. We should all be as
tolerant of New Taste Sensations. And of
big-yolked eggs.
What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
umm i'm the same as Ducky again, we are to much alike.....
and no i didnt cheat my friend alan watched me choose my answers :P
*hugs to ducky dear*
going to bed, gotta work in the morning... well i gotta work all week but umm thats beside the point ha ha ha
Mike
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| meepish |
[03 Oct 2004|05:31am] |
well life is boreing, got into a car accident yesterday :( stupid fender bender is going to cost me about 590$.
anyway talked to my realtor, things look good for getting the house, hope my finances hold :(
anyway its like 530am me sweepy, me go nite nite now :P
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