Forgotten

Snow day

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:43:47 GMT

Its cold, sunlight sifting through snowy skies, it is a beautiful solitude. I walk the streets to the crunching of broken white underfoot. thoughts tumble through my mind like the lazy whiteness before my eyes, both unseen. sound fades, eyes no longer seeing, I get swallowed by it all. I walk alone.

hmm absurdity

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:55:12 GMT

sadly it seems my LJ has taken a backseat to life and other blogs like Facebook and Myspace. :( it is becoming to where I only write here once a year but that troubles me because I have several good friends who only post here and although i read their journals regularly we talk less and that saddens me.

I'll have to put in more of an effort. well Life has thrown me some curves, ups and downs, and I have had to re-evaluate my life I find I want to take it down a different path, a better path hopefully. one of the things I want to do is post more here again, and get back to writing again in general.

I need to get out of my life funk and out of the house more so I'm going to go bowling tonight. I'll post more later

by the way dark_alone, if you read my journal still....I miss you :(

Its My birthday once again

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 19:57:58 GMT

god i'm 30 now, and depressed, i'm still alone.

but I want to say thx to all my friends that have called and txt'd me b-day wishes.

and to my dear Kris who mailed me a card (arrived right on time)i want to say I love and miss you, and your card ment a lot to me since i figured you would have long forgotten about me.

Quiz

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 22:56:02 GMT

Sadistic Seme
Take Are you a Seme or an Uke? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>

It takes a special kind of uke to handle the punishment you dish out. Making them beg for mercy is what you're all about. You give your uke the gift of pain, and the louder their moans are, the more satisfied with the relationship you'll be. It's no fun if they don't struggle, and struggle and torture is what the Dramatic Uke, your perfect match, lives for.

interesting

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 04:44:20 GMT

Silver_wolfe's Word Usage

1. the (143)	26. think (19)	51. have (11)	76. gives (9)
2. to (121)	27. so (18)	52. do (11)	77. had (9)
3. and (110)	28. all (17)	53. life (11)	78. p (8)
4. i (103)	29. our (17)	54. about (11)	79. green (8)
5. a (76)	30. are (16)	55. how (11)	80. friends (8)
6. of (75)	31. i'm (15)	56. see (11)	81. day (8)
7. my (73)	32. up (15)	57. back (11)	82. another (8)
8. you (63)	33. love (15)	58. your (11)	83. well (8)
9. it (56)	34. from (15)	59. pieces (11)	84. she (8)
10. me (54)	35. no (14)	60. still (10)	85. candy (8)
11. in (46)	36. they (14)	61. by (10)	86. tricks (8)
12. as (43)	37. on (14)	62. nothing (10)	87. long (8)
13. was (43)	38. work (14)	63. at (10)	88. much (7)
14. but (36)	39. get (13)	64. alone (10)	89. things (7)
15. is (33)	40. its (13)	65. has (10)	90. house (7)
16. that (29)	41. an (13)	66. only (9)	91. could (7)
17. this (28)	42. out (13)	67. gone (9)	92. mine (7)
18. he (25)	43. one (13)	68. into (9)	93. flowers (7)
19. with (24)	44. then (12)	69. go (9)	94. being (7)
20. for (23)	45. or (12)	70. know (9)	95. over (7)
21. his (23)	46. never (12)	71. because (9)	96. purple (7)
22. not (23)	47. now (12)	72. like (9)	97. were (7)
23. we (21)	48. just (12)	73. forgotten (9)	98. pain (7)
24. be (20)	49. if (12)	74. us (9)	99. bed (7)
25. what (19)	50. would (11)	75. more (9)	100. brought (7)

Username:
Word Count by Hutta.

Trick or Treat

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 17:53:25 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Silver_wolfe goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Vash.
_liesl gives you 11 purple strawberry-flavoured wafers.
abstruseimpulse tricks you! You lose 7 pieces of candy!
abundantskies gives you 1 dark green strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
arollingsuicide gives you 5 green raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
as_if_i_care tricks you! You lose 2 pieces of candy!
cloakedstoat gives you 16 dark green lime-flavoured nuggets.
cynicsquirrel tricks you! You get an eraser.
ducknomiko tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy!
fadingxlight gives you 11 white apple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
francake gives you 13 yellow spearmint-flavoured wafers.
Silver_wolfe ends up with 39 pieces of candy, and an eraser.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

last half

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Silver_wolfe goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Vash.
girlisha tricks you! You get a used tissue.
linzables gives you 3 pink root beer-flavoured gummy worms.
mieru tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
mindtramp gives you 5 light orange passionfruit-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
tearmedown gives you 6 light green vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
total_hottie tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy!
williamohms tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
Silver_wolfe ends up with 2 pieces of candy, and a used tissue.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

retrospective poem

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:18:34 GMT

Eternity

I stand at the edge of eternity
and look out to the endless forever
I bow my head
and the tears I cry form an ocean
and my memories
sail forever on that sea
as lost as the words never spoken

We laid my Grandmother to rest Saturday, I will miss her deeply

introspection

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 05:25:05 GMT

people as a whole confuse me, the most intelligent of beasts on this planet and yet we are cursed with mass stupidity. we are cattle, a mindless herd of humanity. we think that we are individuals, but we cannot seem to act without being a group, we think only what other think or tell us to think, because its easy and comfortable. when things go wrong its not our fault it is some amorphous "someone else's fault" because after all we were only following. if i am to be so much a cow, best shoot me now and render me down into burger now, because i do not wish to gain the dull eyed blank stare of the mass. i do not wish to de-evolve because its easier to let others think, act, and live for me. the human race is blind and chooses no to see, its our pride, our prejudices, our greed, and our lust, our sins drive us. we love the small person picture, the snapshot and not the mural. and hell shall come and find us ripe and we will die smiling because it is easy to give in and not give a damn about anyone as long as a person has their own personal happiness.

what is your happiness, what is your darkness

what is your poison?

Yawn

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 03:22:39 GMT

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

</td>

Batman, the Dark Knight

100%

Captain Jack Sparrow

79%

Lara Croft

79%

The Amazing Spider-Man

79%

Indiana Jones

67%

James Bond, Agent 007

67%

Neo, the "One"

63%

William Wallace

63%

Maximus

58%

The Terminator

54%

El Zorro

46%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Pick my brain please

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 00:57:24 GMT

Wasteland

If the laughter stops,
the flower of the soul dies.
barren and wasted,
the child in us cries.
buried beneath,
forgotten, hope lies.

Empty

And the light dies,
and the curtain drops,
and life is nothing,
but an empty stage

Misery loves company

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 17:46:20 GMT

another mind fragment of mine.

I am a ghost,
but a shadow of the past.
I continue to haunt you,
because you do not know
how to let me go.

we hold tight the ones we love, but we clutch close to us our sorrows.

I burn in Silence, that you may live in Peace.

What to do...

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 17:15:38 GMT

just sitting here in bed, depressed as always. wondering what I should do.
I'm getting tired of being every girls' friend but never being given the chance to be more.
Alway, always do I get the "I dont want to loose you as a friend" line as they jump all over some "pretty boy" or "bad boy". I thought a true relationship had to start somewhere with a good foundation, and if that foundation isnt build on a strong frienship then how can it last? How can a woman date someone she dont really know over someone she has known and liked a year or more? you know how shitty it feels to never be given a chance?

I'm tired of being "just friends"

I think I was born broken

Quiz time

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 16:41:21 GMT

You were murdered. More than likely for money. You
were very brave, but after what happened you
have become shy and worried. You never deserved
anything that happened to you and you should
live your life to the fullest now. Your life
story was very tragic.

How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla

Updateing Story with new content, using LJ as my blackboard

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 00:16:11 GMT

PRELUDE

I'm a forgotten one. There is no real set point that it happened. My life just faded away like an old photograph then was gone. No one hears me or sees me. If it wasn’t for the reflection I see in the mirror I don’t think even I would believe I existed. What brought me to this point? Destiny? Fate? Who knows, looking back I see now that I was born alone, I live my life alone, and soon, I'll die alone. Realization an acceptance, odd you would think this would make us something rather then confirm our nothingness, our endlessness, our void.
   Pushing away from the sink I sigh, my shoulders slump. This is me, who I am. Nothing. Forgotten. The world swirls and pulses around me, people drift in and out of my vision like eddies in a tidal pool, insubstantial and never lasting. It all flows over and around me, never marking me or me touching upon it. My day ends as it begins, staring into the mirror before i shove off to bed, my reflection leaving about as much a mark on this world as I do.
   It came to me that night, blossoming as a dream in the landscape of my mind, perhaps the only place left with a vibrancy in a gray mist of being. I didn’t know where I was... It had to be a dream the colors to sharp and clear to me, the grass a flowing green scape of color dotted with purple flowers lazily swaying back and forth as lily pads in a pond rippled by the touch of a finger. Tranquil. It was all broken with a searing pain in my back, looking down I see the end of something long and sharp sticking out of my chest. Surrealism. The blood dripping from it is mine, the pain is mine, and this moment is mine alone.
        "You must die before you can truly have lived."
   The words come unbidden to me as I sink to my knees, the limp strings that supported my puppet frame cut. The frail Purple flowers now speckled with the dots of my blood, but still the clarity of color, the green of grass, the purple of the flowers, the red of my blood. I pull my eyes from this sight and look up, and up, and up. The blue sky rolls into view as I collapse to my back. More pain exploding as the hilt of the object thrust though me further. My last thought as my sight exploded and was gone was "Even the forgotten believe they are alive, just insubstantial, odd thing dieing."

And the sky began to weep, but not for me, for the dieing of the day.

Pain…
Again, but this time a voice as well.
   “Get up Lad.”
He reinforced his words with another jab of his toe to my ribs.
“It’s not safe to lie around out here all day, there are worse then me that travel these paths.”
Groaning I slowly open my eyes to see the blurry image of an old man come into view. I sit up and immediately my hands clutch at my chest.
“I’m alive,” I mumbled.
He cackled at this.
“Of course you are Lad, might be a different story if you continue laying there in the desert,” this he said with a wink.
Confused I look around, sand and rock. Gone were the flowers gone was the grass; gone was all of the vivid color and fresh air. Also gone was the shaft though my heart. I felt strange; I looked at the old man trying to find some answers in his eyes, what I saw was a sternness come to his face, a tightening of the jaw and set look about his features.
“Then again, maybe you are.”
He said the evenly and with a seriousness in his voice I had not head from him till this point.
“Anyway Lad its not polite to stare don’t you know.”
He leaned down and picked up the satchel at his feet and turned to head down the road, if it could be called such. The road was nothing more but a flatter, more compressed area of this dead place

1.

   It was In the Year of the Silver Moon that He found me. I am able to write this only because He taught me to read and write. Once years ago I had asked him once why? Why teach me such things that did not seem so important then? “So that you can never become Forgotten” was his reply in that quiet sad voice that was to become so central in my years. Forget me not, for this is my story as I remember it at the end of my days.
Born in a death birth I had my destiny set from the start, or so the village Elders, wise as they were, thought. Maybe it was, but it was not to be as they would have it. Everything the village was plagued with was blamed on me, famine, raiders, plague. I was a cursed one, no one would have me, not even the raiders. But as despised as I was the Tribal council could do nothing to me. Law, it is what binds social structures, without it our tribe and others would have fallen to self-destruction; this at least they had learned if nothing else. So it was that Law protected me. “No one of the Tribe may be killed by the Tribe. This was my saving grace. Not that it would last, the Elder made up for in deviousness what they lacked in wisdom.

Pic

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 21:47:32 GMT

Ok a return to LJ means a new pic...

but I think i'm going to have to get a better Pic, i look like a psycho killer in this one :P

definantly not one of my best, then again i'm not that photogenic :P`

cant sleep so posting begining of a new Story i'll never finish

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 03:30:04 GMT

Update

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 00:02:37 GMT

Its been awhile I know, but life has been full for awhile.

I bought a 5 bedroom house last november, I needed to get out of the house trailer I was in and I fell in love with this house, thank you to my sisters for helping me find it.

I then proceeded to Hibernate winter away till work started up in March. Work has occupied my days since

Hey when your Single and Lonely you have to fall back on something dont you?

here we are now it has been a year, still single, still lonely and work is dieing for the season.

to my mind floats the memories of wonderful friends I met on LJ, afraid they might have forgotten me I Lay a token of myself onto their journal pages.

and I return to my for yet another while.

we will see how long this might continue to fill my days.......

this is just scary....

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 02:33:04 GMT

You are Fluffy Mackerel Pudding!! You somehow
manage to combine seafood and dessert into your
wonderfully fluffy world. We should all be as
tolerant of New Taste Sensations. And of
big-yolked eggs.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

umm i'm the same as Ducky again, we are to much alike.....

and no i didnt cheat my friend alan watched me choose my answers :P

*hugs to ducky dear*

going to bed, gotta work in the morning... well i gotta work all week but umm thats beside the point ha ha ha

Mike

Quiz taken from Ducky's LJ

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 01:03:43 GMT

Your aura shines Orange!

What Color Is Your Aura?
brought to you by Quizilla

yup.... i'm the same as Ducky dears :P

we are the power of ORANGE :)

meepish

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 09:34:09 GMT

well life is boreing, got into a car accident yesterday :( stupid fender bender is going to cost me about 590$.

anyway talked to my realtor, things look good for getting the house, hope my finances hold :(

anyway its like 530am me sweepy, me go nite nite now :P

blah

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 01:53:39 GMT

another day another dollar. another long work week starts in the morning. working a new county, irritates me they wont hire more employees. we will never finish before winter if they dont. its frustrating.

looked at a house, but i wasnt impressed so the house hunt goes on........

i seem to always be tired these day, and i've no creative thoughts so no new poety, and no new stories have been flowing out of me. its so damned depressing, so empty inside with no creativity flowing.

:( anyway going to bed

House shopping

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 00:34:45 GMT

well looking for a house sucks but i need to get out of this trailer it sucks, i've found several in my price range (50k-75k) its decideing.

i think i might go with the Duplex though and rent out the top to my friend.

i want to get things rolling ASAP

but working all week sucks, nothing can get done :P

July 20th

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 04:36:06 GMT

well its my Birthday

i go to work in 5 hours

nothing else to say but that i'm headed to bed

Love

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 04:46:55 GMT

Love is a strange word. it seems to mean so much, but in the end means nothing at all.
Love was a meaningless word created to express inexpressable feelings. therefore it means so much inexpressable stuff, but yet means nothing still cuz all the feelings and emotions are still left inexpressed.
it becomes even more meaningless in this day and age it seems because it gets so over used, and not only that, it gets used by people that dont mean it making it not only a meaningless word, but now an empty word as well.

i planed to type my thoughs clearer and longer but i find i'm to tired to get my brain to work, so i guess i'm gonna go to bed.

Update

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 15:19:54 GMT

ok so work has been keeping me away from my journal, and not only that, but when i'm home, I cant stay connected longer then 2 minutes before it drops me. bastard phone company.

so yesterday i drove 520 miles to St. Louis Missouri for G-mas b-day party. looks like it will be kinda fun.

tuesday i go back to work, love the checks but hate the boring work :P

tuesday is also my b-day, july 20, i turn 27, i'm getting olllllld!!!!!

on uncles comp so just a quick update